Tour 57 Story Over Small Talk

"Nobody talks to them, nobody checks in on them....they have a deficit of story." -Nolan Clay Rogers

A recent episode of the ThinkBiz Podcast called The Essential Role of Storytelling: From Fairytales to Business Ethics inspired me to write this article around story. Hosts Nolan Clay Rogers and Garrett Hammond discussed what the role story plays in marketing and improving our relationships with other humans overall.

I recommend giving the episode a listen after this quick read.

As is often the case, I find myself connecting new insights to the world of networking. Nolan and Garrett's talk on the concept of story reminded me of how many networking situations can be improved with story.

Let's walk through two examples and then I'll share a new perspective around story that Nolan expressed with striking honesty during the episode.

Story Instead of Small Talk

Most of us hate small talk. Maybe it's because we are frustrated that better conversation eludes us. I can't think of a better replacement for small talk than story.

At the next networking mixer, invite that insurance agent you just met to tell a story. The possibilities are limitless.

• Tell me about your passion.

• How did you come to be an agent?

• What's changed in insurance in the last 3 years?

• What's your biggest challenge right now?

• Tell me the story of what you are most proud of.

Have some powerful stories of your own that you can offer in case the agent is not a big talker.

Recall general stories that are appropriate in multiple situations that offer others a glimpse of who you are beyond your business.

• Relate a story about why you are an entrepreneur.

• Relate a story about a challenge you have overcome.

• Tell that new business acquaintance the story of what you are most curious about right now and why.

Your stories, whether you're sharing your own or drawing them out of your conversation partner, turn that 18-inch gap between you and another business owner into something meaningful. In those moments, you both forget you're “networking” and start truly connecting through shared experiences.

Story Instead of Pitches

If you have the undivided attention of the room for 30-60 seconds, use story to do the heavy lifting for you.

• Tell a client testimonial story, and pay attention to how engaged your audience becomes.

• Tell a story about what drove you to create your product or service.

• Make up a story about an ideal client who didn't take advantage of your product or service and how it turned out as a result.

Story Instead of Despair

As I listened to the episode I mentioned above, one new perspective caused feelings of sadness, and then inspiration. Hosts Nolan and Garrett, amongst a discussion about ethics in marketing, explained why elderly individuals are often taken advantage of when it comes to salespeople and shady deals. They theorized that in part, a deficit of story could be the culprit.

If an elderly person is alone, doesn't have any conversations on a regular basis, they may be enthralled with the story a sleazy salesperson is telling them, that under normal circumstances, wouldn't capture their interest. Maybe the only attention they receive from another human is good enough for the sale, because the sales pitch is, if nothing else, a story that connects them to someone else.

Dear readers, if there are elderly people in your life that you care about, tell them your stories. When you see them at networking events, tell them your stories. Ask for theirs in return.

Make them feel special and appreciated for their years of experience and the fact that they have found their way into your life.

• Ask what they liked most about their childhood.

• Ask: If you could do _______ all over again, what would you change?

• Ask them to tell you life's secret (and watch their eyes light up because someone finally cares enough to listen).

Our conversations need not be dull. Life is too exciting for us to settle for the ordinary. Tell your stories, and tell them in the most genuine, exciting way you know how.

Ask for stories, listen to them deeply, and learn new things about the people you may want to do future business with or refer business to.

One my favorite origin stories is one I wrote about in Tour 29: The Referral That Saved Our Window Cleaning Business.

Give it a read if you haven't already.

Go network my friend, and remember:

Story is how we truly connect. Let it enrich the conversations you have.

The Networker's Tour Guide, Faithann Basore, and her husband Dave have owned Window Cleaning Plus (WCP) for 11 years. Growing WCP through networking has given Faithann the desire to guide other small business owners through the networking terrain so they can feel comfortable and build long lasting relationships in their business.

Got networking questions? Email me at [email protected].