After a recent training at my BNI chapter, I realized the phrase "tell me more about that..." strategically offered after you hear complaints or plans from a friend or family member opens the door for you to gather referrals for those in your network.

A conversation might sound something like:

You: This tree is gorgeous, was it here when you moved in or did you plant it?

Your friend: It's always been here, but it's a pain, I'm constantly picking up branches and it's hard for my flowers to grow because the tree hogs all of the sunlight.

You: Really? Tell me more about that...

Once your person has complained a bit, offer a solution by way of an introduction to one of your trusted referral partners.

The key to finding a referral for a referral partner is the phrase, "tell me more about that."

When you invite people to talk about an undesirable situation, the longer they talk, the more open they will be to an introduction to the person who has the perfect solution for their problem. It just so happens that you know the just the person to recommend, because you have spent your time building relationships with business professionals for this very purpose.

Here is another example of a conversation you might have.

You: Your business is so successful, I admire what you've done.

Your friend: Thanks, but I'm getting tired of working so much. I wish I could retire.

You: Retire? Tell me more about that.

After your friend gives you a snapshot of their stressed out work life, you ask if he is open to meeting a financial planner who helps business owners prepare their businesses to sell at a top price.

The same pattern emerges. You give a compliment, your friend takes the compliment as an opportunity to complain, you invite more complaining, and then save the day by asking if your friend is open to a trusted professional who has a solution.

You may also invite friends or family members to "tell you more" about the good things in their life. If your sister shares that she is planning a vacation, ask her to tell you more about the plans. You would probably do this anyway, however listening to your sister's excited plans with referrals in mind is quite different.

As she is telling you about where and when she will be traveling, be thinking of planting seeds about the professionals in your network who might be able to help her.

For example, if she is taking a vacation, maybe she will want to come home to a sparkling clean house, or get her nails done before the trip, or need to get the car serviced. There will undoubtedly be those in your network who may help her with a number of small chores or tasks that she will want to complete before she travels.

Consider another way you might find a referral. Let's say you've built a good relationship with someone who has an alarm company, and this person has sent business your way. Now is the perfect opportunity to express gratitude for all of the referrals you have received by asking your sister if she would be open to in introduction to him as she makes plans to be away from her house.

Use both the dissatisfaction and the excitement the people in your life reveal to you, to plant seeds that may connect them to the people you know, like, and trust.

Key Take Aways:

• Use the phrase "tell me more" so that you might better offer the perfect professional to help others

• Routinely offering people who provide solutions to your friends and family will cause you to be sought out when those friends and family members need more solutions in the future.

• You will build up rapport and goodwill with your referral partners by becoming known as the person who gives referrals. In turn, your network will want to give back to you.

I'd be remiss if I didn't recommend two very trusted professionals who I would recommend if I were in such conversations mentioned above.

If you do need tree work and are local to the OKC area, please consider using Beau Jenkins of Premier Tree Service. He can be reached at [email protected].

Also, I highly recommend David Ortiz with Wealth Overflow Wealth Advisory if you would like to know how much your business might be worth or if you would like to retire and need help preparing your business to sell. David can be reached at [email protected].

Go network my friend, and remember:

Use "tell me more" as a way to benefit you, your friends and family, and your referral partners.

The Networker's Tour Guide, Faithann Basore, and her husband Dave have owned Window Cleaning Plus (WCP) for 10 years. Growing WCP through networking has given Faithann the desire to guide other small business owners through the networking terrain so they can feel comfortable and build long lasting relationships in their business.

Got networking questions? Email me at [email protected].