Recently I was meeting with one of my referral partners and asked her to tell me which gift she received that surprised her the most over the holidays.

A big smile lit across her face as her eyes tilted slightly up and to the left to show she was searching deep into her memory bank and cataloging each gift to pick the winning answer. All of this happened within seconds of course, and it was fun to watch.

Ready to answer, she told me what the gift was, and proceeded to tell me the story of how her loved ones who gave her the gift came to purchase it. She told me how they went shopping just for her and curtailed the gift to what they knew she loved.

After telling me a story she didn't even know she had, she lobbed the question back to me with ease. I had the great privilege of sharing a wonderful story of my own, about a gift I had received from one of my loved ones, who purchased the gift from a company that donated a portion of each sale to a cause that is near and dear to me.

The meeting moved on, and the good feeling, at least from my point of view, lasted much longer.

Good questions give our referral partners the bucket to drink from a well they didn't know existed. The story was my referral partner's well, and the question I asked was the bucket I gave her.

The question not only allowed her to tell me a great story, but it allowed her to remember warm times, and talk about the people in her life she loved.

Compare that question to: "Did you have a good Christmas?"

When we meet our referral partners or prospects, let's ask good questions. Let's give people buckets, so they can draw from a well they didn't know they had, and refresh themselves with its sweet water.

Let's let them make those memories stand out, so the brain gives those memories priority. (That's a real thing, listen here for a fascinating conversation about connection.)

Let's get two stories out of our conversations instead of one, and allow our conversation partner to take a more active role in story telling, when he tells his story in response to a good question, instead of merely listening to ours.

Questions that begin like:

• What was the best....

• Tell me how you....

• What surprised you the most about....

• Where did you find the strength to....

• What are you most proud of in....

will leave your referral or conversation partner feeling like they had a great time with you, and again, do a lot for them.

When you have a great conversation with a referral partner or prospect, and you allow them to draw from the well of their experiences, and listen to those experiences with empathy, YOU will be remembered the next time they are in need or your product or service.

Of course I don't encourage your conversations to be engaging in this way, just for a referral in your future. Building relationships is always the goal, the earned referral is the cherry on top.🍒

Go network my friend, and remember:

Be the bucket that draws out wonderful stories in others.

The Networker's Tour Guide, Faithann Basore, and her husband Dave have owned Window Cleaning Plus (WCP) for 10 years. Growing WCP through networking has given Faithann the desire to guide other small business owners through the networking terrain so they can feel comfortable and build long lasting relationships in their business.

Got networking questions? Email me at [email protected].