In Tour 23, I explain how to use rejected or downplayed compliments to find referrals for others.

In this Tour, read three additional scenarios that provide opportunities your you to give referrals.

A Downplayed Compliment on Abilities, Appearance, Etc.

Example:

You: I am so impressed by your singing, I would love to have your voice.

Mary: Really? Thank you, but it's not nearly as good as I would like it to be. I wish I had time for voice lessons.

You: Voice lessons? Tell me more about that....

Here is where you start to listen. Listen carefully now for opportunities to refer. In this example, you could easily recommend a time management consultant or coach, or you might recommend a voice coach.

Once you have extracted all you can from Mary about her problem, take the opportunity to say something like,

"I meant what I said about your voice, it really is lovely. As I'm listening to your challenges, would you consider talking to a time management coach I know who might be able to work with you to find time in your schedule you didn't know you had?"

A Downplayed Compliment on Circumstances

Example:

You: Hey Bob, how have you been? Congratulations on your new grandson.

Bob: Oh thanks, he is the sweetest little baby, but he is giving his parents a run for their money.

You: A run for their money? Tell me more about that...

Bob might complain about a number of changes the family might be going through as they adjust to a newborn. From a meal service, to a one time house cleaning, to a therapist to help with postpartum depression, your network could be a great blessing to the family. Repeat your congratulations, maybe using slightly different words, and if you have a resource from your network, now is the time to suggest the person or company who could really help.

A Downplayed Compliment on Possessions

Example:

You: Teresa, I just love your backyard, the view is gorgeous!

Teresa: Ya, but we just hate it when the wind blows and brings all of the dust and grime on our windows.

You: Grime on the windows? Tell me more about that...

Again, the same listening technique applies. Repeat your compliment, then invite your Teresa to tell you more about what is bothering her.

The more Teresa complains, the more open she will be when you ask her to consider hiring a professional you know who can help.

Opportunities to pass referrals abound, and the more we understand how to listen to others when they brag, complain, or downplay our compliments, the more we are able to make connections on behalf of our network.

One last thought, accept those compliments you receive! The person who gives you the compliment would prefer it be accepted with joy, rather than downplayed. You'll benefit from accepting a positive perspective about yourself that comes from outside of yourself.

Go network my friend, and remember:

From Tour 23,

Use 'tell me more' as a way to benefit you, your friends and family, and your referral partners.

The Networker's Tour Guide, Faithann Basore, and her husband Dave have owned Window Cleaning Plus (WCP) for 9 years. Growing WCP through networking has given Faithann the desire to guide other small business owners through the networking terrain so they can feel comfortable and build long lasting relationships in their business.

Got networking questions? Email me at [email protected].